Thursday, December 22, 2011

When we last saw Him, He was headed into space,






the alternate reality suspended above

our heads where life seethed amid the stars

with the vitality of the gods

we built spaceships to explore

Heaven, and our explorers reported

back, like the spies of Canaan:

darkness, dwarf giants, and a few grapes

the heavens were disappointing. Empty, we labeled

the vacuum space, and our foolish hearts

were darkened. Heaven became a nebula

a dark glass of reality, our vision

obscured by equations, theoretically

physics: 170 decibels, our eardrums burst

when the trumpet went off, we forgot

about graphs and boxed sets: our vision

was forced to adjust to the stars

light made us weep.

Power: Point

information works best in a line

of text, neutral colors, graphics racing

across the screen, tinkling like the glass

you threw on the tile last night


but how can I focus on our growth

when your laser pointer

is only slightly less piercing

than the sound you made


curled up on the floor

when your face was veiled

by your hands and my awkwardness

because I didn’t know


what I was doing, did, dang,

should have done for you

Program: P. I. N. K.

No one seemed afraid

of the clones in those days.

Holden dated each of them,

one plus one plus one plus one.


They all had identical break-up stories: in a bar

codes, so they knew how to comfort charmingly

each time another one came

unglued, they held each other, darling


Holden’s a jerk, but

he loved them madly

as a scientist: each lip set

a matching precious pouted pink,


There wasn’t much difference

in even the gifts: Four plastic roses, a new program

that sometimes, at night, Jessica and Ashley

and Kaytlin and Katelyn would forget


which was which was which was witch


Because Ashley thought Kaytlin

thoughts, and Jessica thought Katelyn

thoughts: 11011101100110011001

Holden painted pouted pink


Which was odd, considering the novelty of the idea.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Splitting the Atom


You said you were literally breaking up. I thought you were faking until the foundations started leaking and the water from the divide came rushing up the basement steps, rippling with crickets you’d crushed and the rats that could swim. Everyone was jumping ship by that time, not just the rats. Jesus, the hairdresser, Abraham Lincoln, our all American heroes said a house divided against itself shall not stand. If you couldn’t stand, maybe you could swim. But when I asked you, even the crickets were silent. You had stomped them into submission. Without them, there wasn’t much left to crunch on. I was hungry, but you couldn’t hear me anyway; the telephone cord was pulled taunt between the two halves of the house. When the last cricket hopped onto it, the wire snapped like an exoskeleton, or a wishbone. When the crickets stopped singing in the silences between us, I started to wonder what the roof beams were fastened with. I used to hold the corners shut with my nails, but now even nails wouldn’t stop the bones from clicking apart along the perforated edge. The water was rising,; we wished we could burst free: tongues, face, feet, flowing out the gutters. With all the crickets dead, there was no one left to laugh.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Fieldtrip

When I told you I was brave, I wasn’t

lying. But the way his fish eyes boggled

at me behind the glass made me wonder

whether you or I had any business

watching a predator feed on the wiggles

of hide and wet wide eyes

A Strange House

I sing, but we’re all afraid

Lexi’ll bite us. She is a good dog

when she’s not scared. She’s so little

we don’t mean to scare her.

Saint


At first we laughed when you said that science would slay the dragons. We thought the earth herself would bury you in the folds of her mossy robe when you began to go against her champions. That was back when the earth was still a she, and the stars her handmaidens, and the wind her speech. Even when you beat the stars long and thin enough to pierce through scales, we still thought you were only fools.

When the first dragon fell to your weapons, we assumed the fault lay with the monster. The guardian had fallen asleep at his post. Survival of the fittest you cried. We didn’t know yet that the fittest meant you, that dragons were the first to go in a culling that would silence first the wind and finally the poets.

You calculated the cost of each weapon, but not the cost of the calculations. You melted the stars that fell near our huts. When we ran out, you started making your own stars so you wouldn’t have to wait for the heavens to present us with them. The fairies tried stealing our children, but we didn’t understand the wind in their teeth, didn’t understand that rust from the melting stars was corroding the doors between the worlds. We wanted protection more than we wanted prophecies. At first we hung your false stars over the cribs to keep the fairies away, bits of heat-curled metal swinging in a dying wind. But while you snuck the stars from over our cribs into the forges, we were away at the empty dragon caves, gathering their gold in the shadows of a tumbling palace. Golden whispers grew in our ears and deafened us to the protests of the fairies.

We still weren’t nervous even when the last dragon died, their bones a seal over the rust-locked doors between the worlds. But you sealed the doors between our worlds tighter than any star could when you helped us believe more in our loneliness than their loveliness. We found ourselves alone on spaceship earth. The wind was a cold front, and the thunder a byproduct of the change in temperature.

With the monsters we had feared first safely buried, and our windows shut to the muffled wind, the poets were starving. The prophets became our historians, but we didn’t want to remember what we had lost. So we regifted them to our children. The histories were spooned into the children with their applesauce at lunch: once upon a time.

When dragons had almost become synonymous with applesauce, you began parading their bones through the streets under new names we couldn’t pronounce. You told us the names meant things like, “Terribly Big Scary Lizard,” and “Monster Larger Than a Chicken.” But with nothing but applesauce scented stories, what could we expect? Every city was provided with a bleached temple, a natural history of yourselves, triumphant through the ages. The martyred monsters were displayed in the temple halls, but just to remind everyone who they belonged to, you taped plastic signs to every glass case. “Do NOT Touch!” There would be no superstitious nonsense about the bones of saints in this new age. These martyrs belonged to you. Every bone was numbered, named and catalogued, every scratch explained. We believed you; we believed in you. While we measured our gold, a cold front blew the shingles off our parallel roofs. Without fairies, we were desperate to believe in anything.

The poets had been shot down one by one. Everyone demanded gold, and the old prophets weren’t allowed to have it. Soon there were only a few poets left, clinking out prophecies in basements and attics around the world, huddled in sackcloth, their eyes to their telescopes, watching the undead stars tip-toe on the roofs above our heads. The poets began tapping Morse code prophecies on each others shingles, on the floors above their heads. Dit-dit-dit da-da-da dit-dit-dit. If the wind refused to speak to them, they would begin speaking to each other.

At first they went unnoticed: poems painted on the bellies of bridges, prophecies put on the wind-torn water-towers. But soon, the poets grew dangerous. They began sneaking into the museums at night, stroking the colossal skeletons of the martyrs, loosening the pins that held them together. They began erasing numbers and replacing them with words: “Listen to the wind.”

Annoyed, you peppered us with propaganda. You showed us films of the unpronounceable dragons chasing children around kitchens. You shook your head knowingly, “It’s a good thing those monsters are dead.” You tried to smile mockingly at your own martyrs. You even tried bleaching the prophecies from our walls, but poetry is harder to destroy than palaces. When our social security numbers started disappearing, and our houses stopped leaning at right angles, we began to wonder if the wind was still as silent as we suspected.

When the dragons had begun dying, the fairies had the right idea in trying to steal the children. But it was the prophets who finally succeeded. Turns out that the applesauce we’d been letting the poets handle had made changelings of our children. One night the prophets marched under our star beams and cradle charms while we were downstairs in the living room balancing the taxes. While we measured the price of potatoes, and ignored the price we had already paid, the poets told the babies what they heard in the wind.

You thought they were too young to understand, but you were wrong. They were just young enough. While we bent beneath bulbs of lightning and laundered breezes, they led the children into the street. The babies crawled in your museum windows while the poets battered down the doors with No Parking signs. Our children, reading fairy-tales by flashlight under bunk bed blankets heard the noise. They slipped out the windows and down the drainpipes, hungry for the bones of the saints.

They helped the poets tear down the walls of your museums, toppling the glass display cases. With shouts of gladness, they piled the “Do NOT Touch!” cards into their altar bonfire that writhed with melting laminations. One pig-tailed girl fitted the skull of a dragon against her own and ran through the tumbling temple, roaring. One shirtless boy climbed vertebrae three stories before perching at the top and reciting poetry as loud as the wind rushing through his lungs would let him.

Stars, in their joy to hear the wind speak again from the comatose face of earth, began to fling themselves down from the sky, smashing telephone poles and generators in their wild abandon. You clutched your test tubes in your suddenly dark laboratories, terrified at the sound of the wild skies roaring into speech with blazing cries of, “Glory!” at every new meteor crater. You had grown too used to your manufactured stars to remember how to deal with the old, raw, unmelted ones, the ones that didn’t follow your rules.

We started coming out of our crooked houses as we heard our children’s voices sing with the wind. As fire rained down, we danced through the streets for the first time in a hundred years. The little girls carried the bones of the guardians as we disassembled your martyrs piece by piece. Under a fiery sky, we rebuilt the fairy palace out of the sacred bones. Moss began to creep across the ruins of your temples, a new praise to natural history. We cleared the rust from our world’s doors while all the stars sang for joy.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Believer

her tail praises my priestly fingers

a hopeful hymn to boiled chicken

pointed ears bow forward in worship

when I divide god into bites

we take communion together

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Signature

This is a rolling night: pushes up to car windows,

breathes on them, writes its name, writes mine. 

To sound night’s name is to know the lungsong

 

of wafting grocery bags—the clean bells 

of jellyfish contracting. In the river of a street, 

I play my legs like long white keys at the far ends 


of an octave. The black keys are bats, caping high,

each preying cry a note, a whole page of gnat notes 

a whole alphabet—notes like O and U and Y.


These drab street yellows are a chord. These phone

lines are ledger. There is a treble-clef tree. I am 

the rest; the fermata moon is holding, holding.


Friday, March 4, 2011

How to Say the Deer

By day a herd, but a river

by dark, a breath or clean shirt

 

drifting, and all we see is the night-spun

linen, the pale flick of sleeves.

 

At noon they are soft coats and tall

ears and tails, the dog-scent of salt and hide,

 

at night they are spindles and flax, eyes

like lake-silt, windy legs raining.

 

I know how darkness touches

us, makes new or ancient or wild.

 

 I left the biscuit of porchlight;

I dissolved in a crescent of sable

 

grasses, and does thrilled away,

a swanwing.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

First Carnival

That day is dim as a coin: a tent

sweating earth salt and straw, the windy flight

of one man into the jute-ropey arms

of another, the elephants, pounding

the cramped parameter of a halo

with their Bible feet. Two clowns with stoplight

noses take the stage. One is wailing, one

is laughing but the water springs from both

their noses, enough to fill ten buckets

and the fat man’s tub. Why are you crying,

one clown sobs to the other, Why are you?

They stare. They wring their noses like the knobs

of locked drawers, and this is the funny thing

about grief: those drawers are always locked. 

The time I wasn’t invited to Tirzah’s Birthday Party

Left to my injury, I crucified

a toad, watched his face for any sign of pain.

I saw breathing and a gauze daisy blossom

in his eyes. Hurt when you’re hurt, dogs

know, and tigers, and any tornado. Pick a windstorm

stomping in the yard, knocking on a locked door—

who needs you guys, he uproots all the phlox,

hangs two foxes and a catfish from the spires

of a barbed wire fence.

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Grumbling

when what we wanted was waived, it was war

we wished God eschewed with us,

not worked through us.

So plum lovers, puddle jumpers both

shot

a shell of sound.

Listen,

you can hear the ocean

a wonder, a whisper, the patience of pulse thunder

rumbling judgment, not yet

Not. yet.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

His

I was made to sing

for him in the clouded castle

when the wind was too empty

of rhythm, and woman

His touch stumbled over my strings

His voice rumbled over my songs


I was his

hidden pearl, hatching egg, lightning bug,

in his palm he liked to touch

my notes until every string of me quivered

with him. I shivered to be heard

under the thick skin of his voice

which grumbled through mine,

smothering my do, re, mi, fa with crystal

honey thickness of fee, fi, fo, fum


Until the boy came

with little spider scuttles behind the coffee mug

I screamed, but his hands pressed

the music from my sides and scrabbled me away

from my master, who following, fell, fractured

my maker, my giant,

my man

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Communion

On the ashed altar of the street: A cat’s

anatomy—filimental whiskers

and steeple ears, the unraveled sermon

of her viscera. This is my body, broken

for you.

 

We partake: mites creep up her aisles

on their knees and the birds fall

like prayers. They—the cat, the mites,

the birds—are scattered some by cars.

Exhaust lingers

 

where the breath of life has rushed out

her chambers, through her

curtain tongue, the long note

of an alto before the organs

are silent.

 

I wonder where she was going,

if her parents know, how many times

she will be washed by the rain, if her soul is dim

in the belly of a blackbird.

The mites are sincere.

 

In their nests, her eyes will fill

Five-thousand.

 

 

 

Pear Lover

You were a shapely drop

of flesh, an alien

color, clothed sculpture

of curves, a dimple, a footed star

until bitten, a puddle

of your spirit dribbled through my teeth

a satisfaction of sugar that was soon

gone. Your white,

wet wound inspired

not sympathy, but desire.

Oh Dear God

I.

Give me

Patience

Now or if not

Now soon the pulsing slow motion notion of

Holding on

makes my marbled muscle ribbons scrunch against the bone

I know you don’t condone face punching or toe crunching

So bring it

II.

She joked

Patience

should not be pleaded for

because praying for it brings more perseverance

producing problems. So instead I prayed for

a bludgeon

III.

I let Him have it.

Every word I’d smoke-screened with sarcasm,

Every glare I’d painted with lowered lids,

Every fist I’d gloved with playful malice,

I said, I’m tired of

me.

and God said,

Good.

A Peace of Fish

A fauceted Nile swishes coldly in the quiet of a kitchen,

clean through a colander of sliced cucumber flesh.

A bare foot blond debones fish with knife cuts

on the cupboard. Spilled sun shines on sheltered dishes.

The small are often stuffed with wishes.